I finally leveled my character to level 120, and managed to get my job advancement as a bishop. I'd like to thank my love, Bryan, for being there to see me going for the job advancement, as well as Ann(dabluegirl) and Tiffany(iResistanze). Westin(KpopHero) helped me leveled to 120, because my love has some personal issues and couldn't help me.



Recently, we kinda had small arguments again.. Our conversations are getting lesser and lesser, till almost all the time we just say... I don't really know what we always say. We don't even say "I love you" that much anymore. What happened to us? I don't know. But I know, we'll always stay strong, and love each other. I know "I love you" are just words, but I guess, having him telling me that almost every day really brightens my day that I finally have and know that someone else out there who loves me as much as I love him.

We don't really talk so much anymore because of his studies+work, and my work. We don't send much ♥s anymore. I just hope lack of communication won't break us apart. It won't. I'm confident that it won't. I know he loves me and I love him. I love him more and more every day, and nothing less. I just hope he'll see that. I hate how distance affects a relationship, but I believe that Bryan and I will work our way together, work our way to the top, to finally.. get to meet each other, to hold each other in our arms, to finally seek moisture on those lips we've craved for. ♥

Talking about meeting each other, he told me his semester ends in late July and he couldn't come. Why couldn't you? You can come during your semester break. But, it's okay. I can already guess something shitty like this would happen. I'll try my best to go Malaysia instead then.

I asked SJ today, "Look at my face. Do I look like I really love Bryan?"

SJ answered, "yeah :s"

Well, it's true. I do love him. :) I guess, that's the answer I needed from friends and other people. I feel more confident about myself, about my feelings, about Bryan. ♥

I wish that, he'll be okay, he'll be healthy, he'll be always happy.  I wish that life isn't difficult. I wish I could see him now. I wish I could tell him face-to-face that I love him. I wish we could FaceTime a little more often, despite all the fights and tiredness in the both of us. I know he's tired and always busy with his personal things and studies... maybe I asked too much. Yeah, maybe I did.

He said, "We'll go with the flow okay my dear? ♥"

Okay. But if something or anything bad happens, I'm not going to go with the flow. I'm not going let you go, I'm not going to say Goodbye.

I told him, "I don't want to be separated from you. I don't fucking care about 'you deserve a better guy' because I've already found the best guy there ever is."

I know I sound so darn dramatic, but it's sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

It was never his fault to start any argument with. It was always mine. So what if he's more sensitive than me? But, he trusts me. I trust him, but... I don't know. Just another complicated feeling girls get that people will never understand. Not trying to avoid problems and shit, but it's true. Even I don't understand myself, all the time. We suffered a lot in this relationship, but I'm not giving up on this relationship. I know this relationship is going to last forever, because.. because a second chance was given. I don't know where is that second chance, maybe it's this second relationship. We had blown this relationship up before in the past, but I know this time that everything's gonna change. Because, a second chance was given. A second chance to fix what used to be wrong. A second chance to change the horrid scar, to heal the scar.

Last night he said, "Who am I to ask for a second chance then hurt you? Might as well just not ask for that second chance in the first place."

That sentence. Every SINGLE time I read that very sentence, it kills me. I tear up. Every time. It feels as if he regretted asking for that second chance. Well.. guess what, bii. Thanks for asking me for a second chance, because I realized I let go a perfect man in the past and I don't even realize how important you are to me. Giving a second chance in this relationship was my best decision ever. I don't care how badly we cried, how badly we were hurt. Those pains and sufferings made us continue to remain strong. Made us realize that we really love each other. I don't care what other people say about us :-

"You know, I don't even think you and Bryan match well with each other."

"You suffered so much in this relationship, Kat. I don't want to see you suffering so much anymore."

Guys, Bryan's been suffering too. But, is he going to let go? Am I going to let go? No. I'm not, I hope so does he.

A second chance usually never turns out better. But in my case, is special. I'm going to fight for it, it's going to be worth it. :') I'll never give up. For him. For my happiness.

I love you bii. ♥ And words will never describe enough of how much I really love you. :')

-lollipopkat signed off. Emotional.

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