I know it has been the past, but then suddenly I remembered about this one story he once told me. A second chance, he claimed was the title.

"All I could remember were the lights that were on the ceiling, bright fluorescent lights, people around me were walking by quickly, I heard the sounds of telephones ringing, people chattering away and some crying in despair. I could see many faces with white masks. I could tell that it wasn't good as i couldn't even breathe through my mouth. It was the 9th of November, another incident I shall not forget. The faces I saw constantly yelled at me with their round black eyes trying to keep me awake and conscious, but I was barely able to keep my eyes open. Then , I had no strength left. I blacked out. Light faded and darkness succumbed me.

It all happened when I've decided to eat my favourite tom yam instant noodles. It is thin white noodles, soft as tofu and the soup is a creamy reddish-orange colour. Also, I have a craving for its sweet, sour yet spicy taste in the tom yam noodles. Though my body was feeling unwell, i still persisted to eat it anyways. After eating it, i drank a little too much Sprite, a gaseous drink which caused an upchuck that set flames to my windpipe as it backtracked and flowed from my throat, to my mouth and back down my windpipe. Tears rolled down my face as I was gasping for air. I coughed loudly as I was trying to get it out of my windpipe but to no success. Suddenly I felt a liquid rushing out of my throat. It was a red and saturated liquid, blood. My heart started pounding , at that moment I was busy having an enlightening chat with my girlfriend, Kathrina. She's a short , sweet and cheeky girl with pinch-able rosy pink cheeks and a unbelievably cute smile. A smile that never fails to brighten my day. I immediately told her that I'd be right back and that something happened. I couldn't tell her about this, I didn't want her to worry. I sprinted downstairs and grabbed the first set of keys I caught sight of and ran straight for my neighbors house. It was bright outside as the sky was a soft blue, and the clouds were no where in sight. Truly a majestic view of the sun accompanied by the melody of the birds singing in the sky.

"CHRIS! I need he..help! I mumbled as I spat out blood.

"WAIT THERE BRYAN. LET ME GET THE CAR KEYS!" exclaimed Chris with worry in his voice. He was panicking as his hands were trembling, tears forming under his eyes and his face, pale. He rushed to the car and immediately ignited it up.

I got in the car , feeling light headed. The blood lost was gruesome, my shirt transformed from a white shirt into a red, blood drenched shirt. Blood was painting the whole seat of the car from a grey tone to a red complex as I laid down on my back helpless. I felt weaker and weaker as not enough oxygen was not reaching my limbs and I was unable to breathe through my mouth as the blood just kept gushing out. I was desperate to breathe at that point. Chris was igniting me with morale and faith. He kept grunting at me to remain conscious as he rushed me to the hospital. I started telling Chris about Kathrina despite the fact that i couldn't catch my breath. He requested that i kept shut and saved my breath. I knew he was angry with me at that point but only because he cared.

"Tell me all about her when you're healed and in a better state , save your breath my friend" he said gently with distress in his voice.


"..one thing Chris.." I mumbled.

"Take my iTouch and tell Kat I love her if I didn't make it.." i replied as the tears in my eyes were about to break.

"You're going to tell her yourself," he said confidently.

From the tone of his voice I knew that he had faith in me and didn't want me to be negative. Me and Chris have been friends for 8 years. 8 LONG years. We've been neighbors and friends and went through thick and thin ever since 2003. I blacked out after hearing what he said. And in my head all I could see, hear and think about was Kat. I didn't want to make her cry nor worry. But I know if she found out the hard way, her heart would be devastate. As the silence in my head consumed me, I recalled a dream which i had during the performance in Singapore. Yes, I am a dreamer. It was a dream of taking Kat to Paris for my 2012 performance there.

I couldn't even open my eyes. But I could hear voices. Shouting and yelling as I felt the jolt of my body moving. I couldn't move my legs nor my hands. I was starting to worry as I could not move. I felt paralyzed. At that point I felt helpless and I couldn't help but miss her. I was brought to the emergency war where i as immediately cleaned up and was given painkillers and was gassed so that I fell asleep. I did not remember anything that happened during that period. All that i knew was Chris was breaking the news to my girlfriend.

"I'm sorry but Bryan has been admitted to the hospital" he texted.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! IS HE OK ?' she replied.

"He's with the doctors now, I am not allowed inside." he returned.

"Shit.. I hope he is okay.. I'm worried. Can I see him ?" she questioned.

The conversation went on, Chris was unable to do so and rushed to the doctor as he walked out from the emergency ward. "Is he going to be okay?" questioned Chris with anxiously. "He is going to be fine but will need a blood donation ASAP, we've stopped the bleeding but he has lost a lot of blood and needs a donation now!". The doctor sped off as i was being transported to another ward to obtain blood donation. I'm a person of blood type AB+ , which meant I am a universal recipient, finding blood for me was not the least of their worries. I woke up already dressed, and had needles drilled into my hand. I looked around with foggy vision as I wondered what had happened when I was unconscious. As I turned my sights to Chris, I saw him typing on my iTouch with a smile on his face. He told me that Kat has been dying to speak to me. As he told her that I was awake, the messages came in flowing like water under a running tap. The minute I saw the messages, her cries for me, I couldn't hold it. I cried. Yes, I'm a sensitive guy. I replied her messages and told her I am fine now. I made her feel useless as she's so far away. Me and her, we're currently in a long distance relationship. She's in Brunei , taking her A-Levels while on the other hand I am in Malaysia, facing the dreaded SPM examination. She wanted to come to Malaysia by hook or by crook at that point just to be there with me, to know that I am truly fine. I wanted to Skype with her, but my appearance. My face was pale as the white sheet on the bed, my eyes red as the blood I spat out, my hands were sweating and I had no voice. I couldn't let her see me this ill. She scolded me. Chris kept his word and sent my message to her. She cried as I was being negative and didn't believe in myself to make it through. Three words made my tears roll faster than the current in a river : I love you. That changed everything.

I was feeling a little better but had a slight inflammation down my throat. But I'd figure that I'd live. I requested that I wanted to be immediately discharged as I hate the atmosphere of the hospital. I went to speak privately to my doctor and told him that I'm fine and if anything were to happen, that I would be here as fast as a hurricane. He discharged me and prescribed me with medication. I took a taxi back home and dozed off in the car. I finally reached my house after spending 35 minutes in the taxi. I paid the driver and rang the door bell. As I walked up to the front door, there stood my brother. He hugged me and cried. I couldn't hold back my tears and shed a few tears. My brother is the type of person that doesn't cry. He's a strong witted guy. To have seen him cry, meant that he really did care about me. A person with a heart made of stone, doesn't mean they don't have feelings. Even though made of stone, its still a heart. My parents were in the office, couldn't be bothered about the incident. Then I stumbled across my little sister, she saw me looking pale and red-eyed. She didn't know what happened but I went on and hugged her and kissed her on the cheeks.

"Kor.. don't kiss me! I am not your girlfriend!" She giggled.

"Haha.. how cute. I love you too Myra" i smiled back at her.

I went upstairs. Barely made it up as my energy levels were null. I finally reached my room and laid flat on my bed. I took out my iTouch and scrolled through the conversation between me and Kat and was heartbroken. I had my my dear girl feel bad for not being there with me during my time of need. I don't blame her, I only have myself to blame. I decided to make it up to her. By devoting the night to make her feel better. I then realized that she had spread the word on Facebook, requesting my friends to visit me at SJMC hospital which I was housed in earlier. I laughed as the thought of them walking into an empty room would make them feel pranked. But what I didn't know was that they had figured out that I've been discharged early and went to raid my house. The doorbell rang and there they were. Winnie Wong, my best friend for 11 years. Chris James, my savior. Shuwei, my pet sister and Hirustaa, my brother for life. Tears formed again as they surprised me in my own room. We talked as they were asking me about Kat, how we met and how does it feel to be in a long distance relationship. We talked for two and a half hours. It was already 11 by the time we realized that time flew by so quickly. They soon left for their homes as the next day was still a schooling day. I went ahead and got ready for bed. As i was changing, my iTouch was flickering as my girl was spamming me. I eventually told her that I wanted to hit the hay, but ended up procrastinating and stayed up all night talking to her. No amount of words can describe how much I love her. Definitely a second chance give by the great GOD to me. And that was the day, I felt my life flashing before me. Amen to GOD for good friends, a loving foster brother, and a GREAT girlfriend. I hope you take care of my mom for me , mighty lord. For you are the King of all kings.

I thank everyone for caring about me. For the ones who prayed for me, I pray that the Father Lord will bless all those who helped me. Amen.

I love you Kathrina Goh :>"

Tears flowed down profusely down my cheeks as I re-read the story over and over. "No amount of words can describe how much I love her," he had said. No amount of words...

I could understand how he felt now. It's because I finally felt his love. Back then, I couldn't even be bothered about him. I was so cruel. So, so cruel. A great girlfriend, he said. Really, am I? Do I even deserve that word? "Great"? :'/

Questions run into my mind every single day, "Are you treating him nicely today, Kat? Do you remember to tell him you love him today? What are you going to do with him today?"  I don't know. No words came out of my mouth, or to say, out of my brain. We haven't talked as much as before. I don't want to disturb him in his studies, but not talking to him literally kills me. LITERALLY. I'm used to hearing my phone ringing every day, smile and eagerly unlock the phone because of him. Even in mornings, no matter how late I sleep, I could still wake up at 6.15am in the morning to see his message and smile.

"Who am I to ask for a second chance when I'm just going to hurt you again? Might as well not ask it in the first place."

Do you really mean it, bii? I hope you don't, because I know you won't regret asking for that second chance. Are you happy now, bii? As happy as before? Am I still the same Kat you know and love? Are you still the same Bryan I know and love?

My answer is yes. You're still the same Bryan I know and love. Now it's my turn to say, no amount of words can describe how much I love you. I can just honestly and sincerely tell you that, I love you bii.

Always do, forever will. ♥

-lollipopkat signed off. Always deeply in love with him.

___________________________________________________________