I officially... broke up with Bryan. It's really hard maintaining a long distance relationship, but I'm really happy that we managed to make it through for 7 months. Surely we fight a lot, and cried alot, but all of them are worth it.

I've becoming very clingy ever since I realised I really loved him. I think that he hell in love with the Kat that never really loved him. The unjealous one, the sarcastic one, the happy(?) one. I've changed so much, I realized that. But never realized I changed so much that I think of Bryan as an addiction, a drug. I'm so obsessed with him, I've became so controlling, that I didn't even give him some space. Whoopsie do, what a girlfriend. He said he never loved these lovey dovey stuffs like "Oh I love you so much dear". He did it just to make me happy.

Yes, we girls are serious attention seekers. It's in our blood. But we should've think about men's feelings too. All we care are.. "Oh he must buy this for me or that means he doesn't love me!", "HE DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU TODAY! HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!", "He's with another girl! I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S HIS BEST FRIEND OR SOMETHING"

Now I understand, girls are so fucking hard to please. It's true about this quote..

"Women always wanted men to change, but they never did.
Men didn't want women to change, but they did."

It's true and it's applying to my love life right now. FML. I've stopped crying, because I couldn't cry any longer, anymore. My throat hurts, and everything. I couldn't stop loving him. I cannot. I love him.

He has warned me before. Both of us have different interests and opinions. He's a realistic person, while I'm just an outgoing person that is okay with almost everything. We both are like... like.. I don't know.

I've made us like this. You deserve better. You were never burden. I am the burden. I am at fault. I never wanted us to be like this. I never wanted me to be like this.

I'll never see those loving, sweet poem again. I'll never see your cute, admiring face again in Facetime. I'll never hear your manly, yet soothing voice ever again. I'll never see you laugh again. Most hurtful of all, I'll never hear you say.. "I love you, bii" ever. again.


All of those, will just remain in my heart; in my memory.

-lollipopkat signed off.

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